I
hate Draco Malfoy. I feel like I could work that line into a lot of essays
about writing. There’s nothing unusual about hating a given character, taking
sides is part of the fan experience. We identify with some characters and their
enemies become our enemies. We become invested in certain relationships and
react hostilely when those pairings are threatened. So I hate Draco, and that’s okay. Taken on
his merits in Canon, he is consistently cowardly, bullying and bigoted. The
best that can be said of him is that he hadn’t quite worked his way up to cold
blooded murder yet. Taken on Canon, my
hate is justified, but over the years, that hatred has gone meta. I don’t just hate him; I hate how much people
like him. He’s pretty much the most popular character in the series. At some point people started seeing him like
this.
Instead
of this.
They
were forever making him wear leather pants, and trying to hook him up with
Harry Potter or Hermione, and that’s a whole other essay. This sort of thing has brought my dislike for
the character to the point that if I were to try to write him into a story, I
would have a hard time writing him fairly, as he is and not letting all my
metafiction animosity turn him into something he isn’t like a completely incompetent
clown, or alternatively Jack the Ripper.
I see a lot of this in fan fiction. How often have you seen stories
where Ginny Weasley is a love potion abusing Harry rapist whose after his money
and fame but cheats on him with every Slytherin in Hogwarts? I understand where
it’s coming from, we’re fans. We like who we like and hate who we hate. But how
as writers do we set that aside and write good stories with accurate characterization?
I
have a theory about this. There is a distinctly
American form of cinema called the Buddy Flick.
Movies like “Lethal Weapon” or “48 hours” or “Analyze this”. You take two
guys with nothing in common, and no reason to trust or like each other, then
force them to work together towards a common goal. Over time they begin to
learn about each other and gain a grudging respect for one another, eventually perhaps
becoming friends. What I’m suggesting is taking the character you hate out of
the environment and dynamics that make you hate him so much and going on an
adventure. Just you and him. Sort of
like a buddy flick. Take that werewolf who’s always hitting on your favorite
sparklevamps girlfriend on a road trip to see other werewolf’s. Get that 3rd wheel over to district
10 for a supply run, maybe get him a love interest.
So
back to Draco, who you may remember that I hate. Say I have a big story in the works that will
unavoidably include Draco, it might help me to take the time to warm up a
little with a one shot little adventure where he is the protagonist. Take him
out of Hogwarts and London, and the whole blood purist war. Say Voldemort sends
him on a very important mission.
“Draco
he says. I have a simple task for you. Retrieve Ravenclaws diadem from Hogwarts
and bring it to me without delay. Do not fail me in this Draco; the
consequences will be most dire indeed.”
The next thing he remembers is waking
up behind a bar in Tijuana with no memory of the last 48 hours, and nothing to
go on but a flyer in his pocket for Ladies Night at The Black Orchid nightclub
and a tattoo that says I “heart” Candy and not a horcrux in sight. Cue the
hangover style romp through the seedy underbelly of Mexico and Los Angeles all
while trying to reassure Voldemort that his horcrux is fine, and on its way. I
can see this being a fun if derivative story to write and I don’t hate this Draco
as much. Perhaps by the end he and I could work out something of a truce.
Not
Joffrey Lannister/Barretheon though. There are limits.
