Writing Naked

                In the world of martial arts, almost any discipline you care to name is going to be largely concerned with balance.  If you don’t have it, you can’t really move, and if you can’t move, you lose.  Some styles describe that balance with the concept of the centerline.  It is more than just your center of gravity; it is where you are more than any place in the world.  Soft disciplines like Tai Chi or Aikido will try to hide the centerline or divert attacks around it in order to minimize the force that can be brought to bear on you. Hard styles though, like wing chun for instance will drive out from the center, because this is where you can generate the most power.

            That’s all very interesting you might say, but what does this have to do with writing? And why should I be naked? Is this some kind of trick? All very good questions. The point is that when you write, you expose yourself.  People who never met you begin to get an idea of who you are, and what you believe.  You become vulnerable. You set yourself up to be laughed at or criticized. If you let that make you self conscious, you start to try to protect yourself.  Instead of driving out from your center and saying what you really meant to say, you let your fear of being hurt make you write obliquely so that when the criticism comes it won’t hit you where you live, and in doing so you lose your power.

            Here’s a for instance.  Not too long ago one of my best friends got married.  I’ve known him since I was a kid, and he’s definitely one of the smartest, well read and well traveled people I know.  I worried a lot about what I would say if the moment came where I needed to give some sort of speech or toast. I wanted something heartfelt and appropriate but I think deep down I really wanted to come up with something that made it sound like I hadn’t fallen behind on the reading of important books and the pondering of deep truths and exploring the world. The day came and I still hadn’t come up with anything, but luckily the DJ cranked up “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, someone started moshing and  I dodged that bullet. If he were getting married today though, I might have said something like this.;

            “Finding someone to share your life with is kind of like going to the Wizard of Oz.  You feel a void in your life. Maybe you’re not miserable, but you’re not really happy either. You just know that something’s missing, and you don’t feel quite whole. So you go to the Wizard and he gives you brains.  If you are very lucky, the woman you choose to spend your life with will be smarter than you. Aside from the fact that intelligence is always attractive in women, a smart woman challenges you. It keeps a relationship interesting, rising up to meet that challenge, finding new ways to keep surprising her even when you’ve grown old together. Being challenged makes you better, and any woman worth marrying is worth becoming a better man for. 

 But the wizard isn’t done. He also gives you courage.  A man is never so brave in his life, nor capable of as much as he is when the woman he loves needs him to be. Having someone who believes in you is an immeasurable source of strength. I’ve seen it make the crippled walk, I’ve seen it outlast cancer. If there are miracles in life, the faith of one who loves you is surely one of them. I think you’ll look back one day and realize that some of the bravest moments of your life involved this girl.  Walking across the room to ask her out when you might have been shot down. Asking her to marry you when she might have said no. Holding her hand while she reenacts the dinner scene from Alien in the maternity ward, and those are the easy ones.

  If that weren’t enough the wizard gives you a heart and now you find yourself feeling things as you never have before, and if you are more easily hurt in ways that you weren’t before, you are also more alive.  You might find yourself watching a movie like Forrest Gump or Up, and really getting for the first time how everything that’s good in the world can come to be represented in a the form of a person and how wonderful and scary that can be.  Feelings like that are a powerful thing and they bring heartache and joy with them, but the joy makes the pain bearable and the pain gives the joy meaning.

 There is just one more thing. When you find a woman who brings all these things into your life, and you join your life to hers, you are home. So to my friend and his new bride I say, welcome home."

So I’ve got my wedding speech. I wrote it just now. Give it a little time, and I’ll start to worry.  “What if everyone thinks its stupid, What if they laugh at me. What if my buddies think I’m a wuss now and don’t want to hang out with me anymore? Wizard of OZ?  What was I thinking? So maybe I throw this away and go with something safer.

“Congratulations on your beautiful wedding. I know you’ll both be very happy. I wish you many happy years together. Cheers”  

Phewww! That was a close one.  No one will make fun of me for that one. In fact no one will remember it two minutes from now. DJ crank up the Teen Spirit.  One of these was safe. One of these can’t hurt me because it didn’t come from me. It didn’t say what I felt.  Didn’t make me feel exposed. One of these had no power whatsoever.

The greatest thing in the world for a writer to be is fearless.  If you can write with the brazen vulnerability of a Superbowl Streaker, then there’s a chance you’ll be able to create something really special.